Monday, May 6, 2013

Your Life Is Not Complete...

...until you've seen The Swarm. "It is more than speculation. It is a prediction!"


This movie truly has it all: Michael Caine as an extremely creepy/shouty entomologist. Katharine Ross as the most useless doctor in the history of cinema. Olivia de Havilland's slow-motion moan! The bees derailing a (spectacularly fake) train, after which every single passenger car explodes for some reason. The bees breaking into a (spectacularly fake) nuclear power plant, which explodes almost instantly for some reason. The bees causing an ambulance to crash into a building, after which it explodes for some reason - and almost as spectacularly as the aforementioned nuclear power plant. The military forgetting that bees can fly and burning down Houston to kill them. Numerous hallucinations caused by bee venom that always consist of one huge-ass bee and nothing else:


This end credits disclaimer in case the normal bees were planning to sue for defamation:


And much, much more. I cannot recommend this glorious mess enough.

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